My daughter, the Presbyterian

So, my sixteen year old daughter and I go out to dinner together nearly every week. It's a very cool thing. Most of the time we talk about "stuff", nothing significant. Once in a while we'll talk about something deep or important to one of us. Sometimes I think she says things just to see what kind of reaction she can get out of me.

The other day she says, "Dad, I've decided I'm a Presbyterian." Now, I have been a pastor ordained into the Lutheran church for nineteen years. Additionally, as far as I know, Anna has never stepped into a Presbyterian church. Nevertheless, there she sat with that defiant, yet whimsical, smile on her face proclaiming her new allegiance. Mind you, this is the same girl who insisted that "10:35" was a non-denominational church no matter who the pastor (her father) was. She wouldn't believe it, but I really do love this about her. She thinks of me as pretty conservative, but pushing the boundaries of convention is something I've been accused of on more than one occasion. So, I smiled and asked her what led her to this new revelation.

The issue was Calvinistic predestination. She had recently learned about it (really, the things they teach in public school nowadays) and decided it made a lot of sense. What ensued was this wonderfully deep and complicated discussion on the merits of predestination as taught by Calvin, Luther, and others.

That interaction I had with my daughter is a model for me of the kinds of conversations I want to have with all people and how I should seek to respond to those who have viewpoints that differ from mine. Here's what I mean. The foundation of this whole conversation with my daughter was my love for her. I'm emotionally invested in her. So, I want to encourage her to think through the things of God. I want to challenge her, but I also want to listen to her. I want her to know that I value her opinion as I value her. I celebrate her spiritual inquisitiveness, knowing that Christ can use it to draw her closer to Him. She matters to me. I can question her stance, but I don't want to judge her. I can push her to think more deeply, but I don't want to push her away.

I contrast that with the many stories I hear from people who have felt judged and belittled by Christians. Just recently, I met with someone who shared with me some of her recent experiences with Christians. She is a deeply spiritual person who has been disconnected from the church for some time. She has a sincere faith in Jesus, but is highly inquisitive. She has read The Secret, though it seemed a bit indulgent to her, and thinks Eckhart Tolle is right on with some of his stuff, but not all. She also has a deep appreciation and love for nature. She can look at a handfull of soil and see the handiwork of God. So, what did those Christians closest to her have to say about all of this. They called her a wiccan and a pagan. They disrespected her beliefs, but much more importantly, they disrespected her. There was no love in their dealings with her. What she felt was their contempt or, even worse, pity.

Through some caring Christ-followers, God is now calling her closer to Him. But, what a tragedy this experience almost was. What a loss for the Kingdom. Why? Because too often Christians forget what Christ proclaimed as the greatest commandment: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"