Birthday Musings

So, as I am writing this, I have just turned 46 years old. Certainly, age is a perspective and to some of you reading this that might seem quite young while others may shocked at how someone so old can look so young. Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea. How old one appears (or feels) is really a matter of perspective.

I was thinking about being 46 and wondering if my best years of productivity are behind me. Then I began to wonder, "What if I have another 46 years?" What would prevent them from being the most productive years of my life? Why would I stop growing? In my faith? In my wisdom? I think of someone like Billy Graham who reached far, far more people with the gospel between the age of 46 and his current age of 90 then he did in his first 46 years.

Ultimately, however, I thought this: Is not God bigger than all this? Is not God larger than any one life (save Jesus) could contain? Believing that with all my heart, could I not expect to grow in Christ my entire life? Indeed, the only thing that can prevent this is myself. If I believe I have reached my full capacity or decided I had done enough with my life, then I could certainly hinder the effectiveness of my life. I could put a halt on and fail to realize the full potential of the life God has planned for me.

May I never do that and may you never do that. May you keep living this life until such time that you join Christ in the resurrection and then may you continue to live your life to the fullest in Him. May you never believe that your life is meant for anything less than the greatness God has planned for it. May you live with anticipation of each day and unwrapping the lifelong gift of potential that is ours from God. And most of all, may you live in utter awe of how big our God is.

The Learning Circle

I've been asked to blog about this teaching that I've shared with a number of people. It is a way of processing the positive change that God wants to create in our lives. We call it the Learning Circle. It is one of the discipleship tools from an overall set of tools called LifeShapes.

When we speak of time, as is often the case, the Greek language (the language the New Testament was written in) has multiple words to indicate multiple types of time. Chronos is the type of time associated with a clock. One minute after another, it is the passing of time. It is where we get the word "chronological," indicating an orderly series, a progression.

Another kind of time is kairos. Whereas, chronos is the passing of moments, kairos is an event. It is a moment in time. It is akin to saying, "I had the time of my life." You are not saying that there was a minute or hour that was particularly notable. What you are probably saying is that there was an event, a happening, an occurrence that was significant.

Jesus speaks of such a time, such a kairos. In Mark 1:15, we find the first words of Jesus ministry. As such, we can assume that they are important. These are the words that Jesus used to announce his message to the world. So what does he say? Jesus says, "The time has come…" The word for "time" here is kairos. Now when Jesus speaks of kairos, this significant event or occurrence, he is speaking about something very specific. He tells us what that is in the next part of this verse. "The time has come. The Kingdom of God is near." The kairos that Jesus speaks of is the breaking of the Kingdom of God into the world. He was announcing that where he is, there is the Kingdom. This same thing continues to be true in our lives. In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Daily, constantly, Jesus Christ wants to enter into our lives. He wants to draw us closer to him and to his Father in heaven. He wants his Kingdom, his rule, his reign to break into our lives.

These "kairos moments", as we call them, happen all the time. They can come in a multitude of forms. Some may be seemingly negative experiences. Some may be positive. They can be big, life changing events or small, presumably insignificant occurrences. All of them represent an event that God wants to use to draw us closer to him. What we need to understand is how we react to them. Most people tend to react in one of two ways. The first is to ignore them. It may not even be that we consciously ignore them. We simply miss them. We let the moments of our life come and go without any consideration of what role God may have planned for them and us. We live life simply in the chromos, oblivious to the kairos moments.

Others of us are so affected by such moments that we become paralyzed. Often this happens with difficult or challenging kairos moments. We are so fearful that we become, in essence, stuck in time, unwilling to engage the change that God has planned for us.

But, there is a third way. We can engage the kairos. We can enter into it, learn from it, and allow God to change us. This is the way outlined by Jesus in his opening words. "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" Jesus tells us how we are to respond to the kairos moments in our lives: Repent and believe. These two actions make up the two halves of what we call the Learning Circle.

Let's start with repentance. Repentance is typically associated in a converse way with sin. In other words, we do something wrong (sin) and we need to stop doing that wrong thing and start doing the right thing (repentance). However, the greek word (the original language of the Bible) really indicates more than that. The word is metanoia. It means to change one's mind. So, rather than a negative context, repentance means, simply, to have a change of heart that results in a lifestyle or behavioral change. Repentance can be our response to good, bad, happy, or sad stimuli. The key is that it creates positive change. Repentance is the beginning of change that results in a disciple taking on more of the character of Jesus Christ.

There are three steps to help us work through the repentance halve of the circle. They are to Observe, Reflect, and Discuss. To observe means to simply think through the facts- the who, what, where, and when. Observation is important because it helps us to gain an objective view of the kairos moment in question. Next, we reflect. This is where we ask the why questions. Why did it make me feel this way? Why did it happen? Why does it seem important? We also begin to ask, "What change might God want to initiate in me through this?"

Progress is being made. However, we still need more clarity. So we discuss the kairos with a trusted friend who is walking the path of change with us, someone who also follows Christ. God created us to live in interdependence, not independence. So, we turn to others to help us through these times of change. With these trusted friends, we move from the repentance side of the circle into the believe side of the circle, for now we must put our thoughts into action.

That is one of the most important things to understand about the process of believing. It is an action word. Belief is demonstrated in action. So, the three steps of the believe half of the circle are Plan, Account, and Act.

First, we plan. We consider all that we have learned from observing, reflecting, and discussing the kairos, and now we develop a plan for positive change. We do this with the help and wisdom of others. We keep at least one other person completely informed of our plan. Why? So, they can keep us accountable. That is the next step in the circle- Account. We ensure that someone is prepared to keep us accountable for our actions, particularly the plan of action that has come out of this kairos.

Finally, then we must take the step that is necessary for the completion of the circle. We must act. We must do the thing God has moved us to do. We must act on the plan that has come out of our kairos.

These kairos moments are meant to produce positive change in our life. Positive change that allows the Kingdom of God (i.e. The Rule of God) to invade our lives and change that strengthens our relationship with Christ. I hope you daily become more aware of the kairos moments in your life.

 

 

 

 

Faith and Doubt

[Reader: Originally, I started this as an answer to a comment left on the last post entitled "The Following Leader." However, I felt as though the material was relevant enough for a post. The overriding question of the comment I am responding to was, essentially, "How do I overcome my doubts about healing?" Trust me when I say I am oversimplifying an incredibly thoughtful and thought-provoking comment, so I encourage you to go back and read what they had to say.]

 

Your questions are most of the questions I have been dealing with for over half of my life. Moreover, these questions have been asked by seekers and Christ-followers alike for almost two thousand years. The answers are simple, but not easy.

The core issue here is one of faith. Consequently, we have to begin with a discussion of the nature of faith. Essentially, we can sort faith into three categories. The first we will call public convictions. Public convictions are not necessarily faith at all. It is more PR exhibited for the benefit of others. It is the display of faith that one feels is necessary to gain advantage or approval from others. King Herod demonstrated this "faith" that is really no more than the appearance of faith when he asked the magi to share with him the location of the newborn Christ so that he, too, could worship him. Herod didn't want to worship Jesus. He wanted to kill him. He said what he thought was necessary to gain the approval of the magi.

Though our reasons are most assuredly not as extreme, we can often display public convictions that we really don't believe. The culture we live in or even the people we are currently in the presence of dictate the faith we are willing to share. So, hypothetically, you are, politically, a member of party xyz. However, in this election you believe you are going to vote for the presidential candidate of party abc. Now you are out to dinner with some of your long time xyz cronies. They are talking about how wonderful the candidate of xyz is. You sit there and nod your head in agreement, because it is easier to agree at this point than to express your true feelings and ruin a perfectly good dinner. This demonstrates how our public convictions do not always represent what we truly believe.

The next type of faith we demonstrate can be summarized as our private convictions. Private convictions are things I think I believe until circumstances change and show me that I do not believe them. For example, you are in a relationship and you sincerely believe that you have found the perfect partner. That is, until you find out that they have been unfaithful all along. Suddenly, you don't want to ever see that person again. Were your convictions sincere? Absolutely. Were they true? Not so much.

A biblical example of this is found when Jesus tells Peter that he will deny him three times. Peter exclaims that this would never happen. Did he sincerely believe this? Yes. Was it true? No.

The last type of faith is represented by our core convictions. Core convictions are beliefs that are so absolutely real to us that we would never, never violate them. Our public convictions may be bogus. Our private convictions may be fickle. But, our core convictions are actually believed and demonstrated by our actions. This is what James means when he writes, "Faith without works is dead." (James 2:17-19) His point is not that it is our works or our actions that get us into heaven. His point is that our actions demonstrate the depth of our convictions. Consequently, faith that is unaccompanied by actions that demonstrate our conviction is something less than true faith. In may be public. It may even be private. But it is not core. It is this core faith that Jesus wants to work on in our lives. It is our core convictions that he is concerned about.

So, as we speak about healing, the principle issue is our core convictions. This is what we are really talking about when we speak of faith. Now, does the presence of faith mean that there will be no doubt? Not at all. To the contrary, one cannot doubt without faith. Doubt is evidence of the presence of faith. Consider, if someone does not believe in something they do not have doubt about it. They simply lack faith. Doubt, on the other hand, is the questioning of what one believes. It is an uncertainty or lack of confidence. It presupposes faith.

Let me give you an example. Do you have faith that I read every comment posted on my blog? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that your answer is "Yes." Now your confidence is not born out of ignorance. It is firmly grounded in experience. Most of the time, I respond to the questions posed in my comments. Moreover, you know a little bit about me. I'm a pretty stand-up guy. It would be contrary to my character to give the appearance of reading all my comments when in actuality I do not. But can you prove it? I don't always respond and the only way you have of knowing, absolutely knowing I have read a comment, is when I do respond. So, can you say without a shadow of a doubt that I have read every comment? No, really, you can't. That is the presence of doubt in faith.

Now, over time, can your confidence and your certainty grow? Absolutely. How? If I continue to prove myself to be faithful in answering, your doubt will decrease and your certainty will increase. Even if I don't answer every comment, the preponderance of the evidence would point to the fact that I do read them all.

When it comes to healing prayer, the pattern is much the same. My faith in God and his ability to heal is not born out of ignorance. First, it is grounded in what I know about God. As I have grown in my relationship with God, as I have gotten to know him better, His character becomes clearer to me. Furthermore, God has demonstrated his willingness and ability to heal. Numerous times over my ministry, I have seen people healed in such a way that even doctors have referred to them as miracles. Now, has every person I've prayed for been healed? No. So, can I say without a shadow of a doubt that God heals? No, really, I can't. But faith is not about the absence of doubt. It is about the presence of certainty. As it says in Hebrews 11, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." It's interesting what this verse infers. The ability to actually "see" or to know beyond a shadow of a doubt destroys faith. Why? Because then it is no longer faith. You know. You don't believe.

But I will say this. The more I pray for healing, the more I trust God and believe that he will heal, the more faithful he proves himself to be. Does He heal everyone? No. Do I understand why? Not a chance. But the preponderance of the evidence of my experience increases my certainty every day. So, do not let your doubts discourage you. Pray as you can, not as you can't. In other words, pray with what faith you have and ask God to assuage what doubts you have. As a father once said who brought his son to Jesus for healing prayer, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)

[Much credit is given to John Ortberg, noted Christian author and pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church and his message given on October 5, 2008 concerning the issue of faith.]

Lead and Get Out of the Way: The Following Leader

I've been discussing the issue of leadership within the Church and, more specifically, leading the ministry of which I have been given oversight. If you haven't already, you will really need to read the last two posts in order to track this continuing dialogue. I would also recommend that you read the comments as there have been some very interesting conversations that have ensued.

I thought it would be helpful (for me, at least) to brain-dump an example of how I have seen this leadership come into play at "10:35". Healing has never been a part of my ministry. Never may be too strong, but to be honest, for the better part of my ministry I never treated it seriously. Let me explain.

I believed God healed. However, I never really, truly expected to see healing myself. I would pray for it when I visited folks in the hospital, but usually these prayers were pretty safe. I would pray for God to fully equip the doctors to use the gifts he had given them. I would pray for a quick recover from a surgery already performed. Any healing beyond this I would always temper with the phrase "If it be Your Will." "Father, if it be Your Will, please heal [name] from [insert condition]." "Father, we ask that you heal [name] from [insert condition], but Your will be done, not ours." Safe, conditional, healing prayer. Occasionally, when someone was really ill we might have a group of people lay hands on a person and pray. But this was prayer reserved for desperate times. It was not the norm. It was the exception and any answer to such prayer would have stunned us all. Certainly, we would have given God the credit and praised Him for it. But, that was a vague hope. The desperate pangs of a desperate people.

I had often felt convicted by this and had even shared my concerns with some colleagues over the years. I challenged them to consider whether our actions demonstrated that we really believed that God could and does heal. This was usually met with much skepticism. However, I never really went much further with this. I still struggled with believing, really believing, that God would heal, or even more to the point, that he would choose to heal someone through our prayer. This was my basic mode of ministry for over eighteen years.

Then in the summer of 2007, I was introduced to a group of people in Sheffield, England- St. Tom's Church. They seemed to really believe, yet even more than believe, they totally expected God to show up in their midst and do miraculous things. Their reason for believing it was so simple and so child-like that it couldn't help but make you smile. "That's what God promised to do. Just read the Bible," they would say. Still, what was I to make of this? Initially, I was forced to make a choice much like the famous "choice" of CS Lewis in Mere Christianity. Either they were lying, in which case, they were deceivers and really very bad people, or they were delusional. There was some form of group hallucination taking place. They all really believed God was doing miracles, but they were wrong. If this were true, there was at the root of this church an unhealthy and dysfunctional culture. Neither of these made sense in light of the relationships I formed and the people I grew to know and love. Moreover, while I was there, I experienced a number of things that convicted me to open myself up to the possibility that God wanted to be far more involved in my life than I had allowed Him to be. So, upon returning from Sheffield, I made a simple promise with God. I was committed to being more open to his working in my life. That, my friends, was the beginning of the end of all my previous perceptions of leading the Church.

God took control and to bring us back to our former conversation we flash forward to the winter of 2008. It was at that time that God compelled me to write a message on the issue of healing. The text was, of all things, the second petition of the Lord's Prayer- "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done." [ah, remember the tag-line to those safe, healing prayers I prayed] I really had no clue how to approach this message, so I dived into the Bible and read everything on healing. I came away completely convicted and convinced of not only God's power to heal, but also God's desire to heal. I shared that message being completely transparent to how challenging this was for me. I really had no idea what the response from people would be.

Let me pause here to bring us back to the issue of leadership. Previously, every message was given with a predetermined outcome in mind. Everything was done this way. It all pointed to and was prepared to move us toward a defined and preferred future as a church. I don't mean to make this sound too clinical. God was certainly invited into the process, but truthfully we orchestrated it. We were leading. I was leading. I would ask God for his guidance, but I was treating God a little like my own personal GPS unit. "God-God how do I get to …" I relied on God for direction, but I was still behind the wheel.

Suddenly, God was driving. There was no predetermined outcome in mind with giving this message. No preferred future as a church, other than growing closer to God. There was no reason for giving this message other than God having decided it. I was now beginning to lead by following. That sounds so formulaic and staid, but in reality it was terrifying. I was out of control. I had no idea how the people of 10:35 would respond to a message that we should expect to see signs and wonders and foremost among them was healing. What I certainly did not expect was for them to embrace it wholeheartedly. People began asking for healing prayer and other people started praying for them. I mean really praying for them- pulling them aside on Sunday, before worship, after worship, laying hands on them. And they believed. They had every confidence that God would heal.

And God did. He continues to do so. Time and time again, we are seeing it. Cancer, inner-ear problems, damaged hearts, arthritis, blood disorders. God has and continues to do miracles in our midst. Now this is what I mean in a previous post by "leading from the middle." God compelled me to share a message. The people responded and followed the Word of God. Now we are a church heading in a direction I would have never expected. People want healing. People pray for healing. God delivers. I'm not deciding the direction of the church. I am a witness to it. I bear witness to what God is doing in our midst and what God wants to do. The rest is God and His Church. It's really a pretty amazing thing to be a part of. What do you think?

Lead and Get Out of the Way, Part 2

I'm hardly a details person, but I am a planner. Big picture visionary stuff is kind of my thing. I can see the finished whole. I understand what it will take to get there. I can envision what elements are necessary for the accomplishment of the goals and who is needed to make them happen. Again the day to day tactical, not so much, but I take real pride in orchestrating the movement of the organization towards its preferred future. Or, perhaps, I should say, "TOOK real pride."

Why do I say that? Well, in what is a very unnerving turn of events, the finished whole now seems to be beyond my sight. I have no clear picture of the destination. In the absence of that vision, I find myself in an incredibly vulnerable leadership position. My greatest strengths have been stripped away. Previously, I found great security in being out in front. That is, after all, where a leader is supposed to be. However, now I increasingly find myself leading from the middle. How can that be? Ah, that IS the question, isn't it?

It is, as if, the whole church is being swept up in some change, pulled (or led) in some direction, wholly removed from the leadership of any one person. Do not misunderstand this to mean that the church is without direction. Not at all. The longer we are caught up in this, the clearer the direction becomes, the more definitively intelligent and wise it proves to be.

What can I compare this to? I've sat here for a good 45 minutes thinking about that and here is the best I can come up with. It is as if you are looking at a painting by Monet, but at the start the painting is a mere few centimeters from your eyes. What you see are colors, dots of color, without any apparent pattern or purpose. You cannot see the big picture. The entirety of the canvass is beyond your field of vision. However, ever so slow the painting is being pulled back, giving you perspective. Dots of color begin to gather into patterns. Order emerges from chaos. You begin to become aware of the whole. You cannot complete it, but you know without a shadow of a doubt that it is there and that when you do see it, it will be beautiful, a masterpiece. Slowly you gain perspective. Your eyes, your mind decipher the pattern as it's revealed.

What that means for me is that I cannot lead from the front. I must lead from the middle. Leading from the front is defined by orchestration. Leading from the middle is defined by interpretation. Consider the conductor of an orchestra. This leadership is dependent on knowing what piece that is to be played. Only then can the conductor lead the pieces of the whole in creating a desired outcome- in this case beautiful music. This is leading from the front. Leading from the middle requires an entirely different skill set. Leading from the middle is about listening to the music as opposed to leading it. It's indentifying the melody amidst the sound. It involves processing and contextualizing the big picture as it is revealed in ever growing but minute proportions. Then the leader's role becomes revelation, helping the church to see and to embrace the masterpiece that God is making of it.

Well, as I have said, these are certainly not finished thoughts. They are thoughts in process, as I increasingly understand that all things are. I have no doubt that I will change my mind, contradict myself, and come back around to where I've started more than a few times as I think my way through this. But, slowly, I know, order will emerge from the chaos. Let me know what you think, because you are, no doubt, a part of this big picture.

Lead and Get Out of the Way

After 19 years of ministry, I’m learning that leading a ministry is not about being in control. On an intellectual level or, perhaps, even more relevantly, on a spiritual level, I knew this. Ultimately, leading the church is about following Christ. You are never in control. God is. But, recently, I have found there to be a much deeper, more profound set of principles at work. It is something so new to me, so transforming, that I am having difficulty even processing it.

That’s why I’ve decided to blog about it. I want to invite you into the conversation. I want to invite you into this world of messy leadership. So, let’s take a stab at opening up this topic.

I would have to say that I became aware on some level of an organic shift in our ministry at “10:35” a little more than 18months ago. We had made some significant changes before that, but the difference is that those changes were orchestrated. They were planned. We had begun to move away from a “church of attraction” model to a “missional church” model. However, in the wake of this shift, some things became increasingly clear for the future of our ministry.

Particularly, for me, it meant making some decisions to surrender my desire to control. That’s where I’ll pick things up next week.
Read the rest of the series here:

• Lead and Get Out of the Way, Part 2 
• Lead and Get Out of the Way: The Following Leader 
  

Does "success" have an age limit?

I think most of us have heard of the concept of a "biological clock". It has an actual scientific meaning, but by and large it is understood as that window of opportunity for a woman to have a child. If a woman says her biological clock is "ticking", she typically means that she believes the window is closing on any chance of having a child.

There is another "clock" that seems to induce worry, frustration, and resignation in many people. The clock I speak of is the clock of success. The "clock of success" is the phrase I am using for that self-defined window of opportunity to reach some desired level of achievement with one's life. So many men and women I speak with feel the pressure of this clock. College students struggle with the decision of "what to do with my life", as if their life will be defined by this one decision. Many boomers, now in their 50's and 60's, have resigned themselves to a lingering sense of being unfulfilled. Young or old, we seem to constantly ask ourselves if that window has not closed on us. We wonder if we have not squandered what opportunity we may have had. We are vexed by the question, "Is it too late for me?"

One reason we feel this way is our society's infatuation with those who experience the meteoric rise to fame and fortune. Michael Dell and Bill Gates made millions by the time they were 25. Michael Phelps, at the age of 23, stands uncontested as the greatest Olympian of all time. Miley Cyrus, love her or hate her, has built a marketing empire at the age of 15. So, is it too late for me, is it too late for you, to succeed in your life?

Let me reassure you. It is not. In way of spurring you on, let me introduce you to a few people. First, there is Ray Kroc. Ray, at age 52, was a milk shake machine salesman until he entered an establishment owned by two brothers and pitched an idea to franchise the concept. The brothers would get one-half of one percent of the gross profit. Kroc got the rights to open the franchises. The name of those brothers? McDonald. The rest is history.

If you are a fan of crime fiction and detective stories, you know the name of Detective Philip Marlowe. But, did you know that the man who created this character, Raymond Chandler, never published anything until he was 45 and didn't publish his first book until he was 51.

Or consider the story of Grandma Moses. She had to give up embroidery in her 70's because of arthritis in her hands. So, she picked up a paint brush and a piece of wood and took up painting. Her work was eventually exhibited throughout the world. In 1949, at the age of 89, President Harry S. Truman presented her with the Women's National Press Club trophy award for outstanding accomplishment in art. In 2006, one of her paintings entitled Sugaring Off (circa 1943) sold for 1.2 million dollars.

Of course, an important piece in all of this is how we define "success." The success of our life should not be measured by the very temporary criteria of fame or fortune. Success is a divine thing that is measured by whether one has achieved the purpose for which they were created. Of course, we could worry just as much over such a goal for life. But there is good news! God seems to have no desire to close this window of opportunity. In fact, God seems to delight in taking no notice of age when raising people up to the success of fulfilling their lives purpose. At times, they are young. At other times, they are old. Quite old. There is Anna, in Luke 2, who was at least 84 years of age before she was able to give witness to the messiah Jesus Christ. Few people realize Moses was somewhere around 80 years of age when God called him to lead His people out of Egypt. Let's just take one other example: Abraham.

Abraham entered into a covenant promise with God early in his life. There were several covenant promises that God made with Abraham, but the result of those promises was one central promise that Abraham's life would result in the blessing of all the families of the earth. Throughout Abraham's life, on six different occasions, God renewed these promises with Abraham. Ultimately, Abraham was 100 years of age before he saw the last of those promises fulfilled by God in the birth of his son Isaac. Sarah, his wife, was about 90. Clearly, God's window does not close on bringing fulfillment and, thus, success to our lives. Come to think of it, that biological clock doesn't mean too much to God, either!

Some thoughts on faith

Why do we expect so little from our faith? By “we”, I mean the vast majority of humanity. We treat faith like little more than a non-binding, guiding set of principles.

Take for instance, our beloved left coast and the Hollywood scene. People seemingly dance on the winds of the latest religious fad. Faith is worn like an Armani suit or a Gucci handbag. It’s used like a well-placed affair to drum up some publicity.

It’s not that they don’t “believe” in what they are saying. I’m certain some do, but their faith is only essential as long as it is convenient and meets their needs. Now, lest you think I have an extreme disdain for actors, let me point something out. I think this pattern of faith is only apparent in the famous precisely because they are famous. Their lives are lived under the constant scrutiny of their adoring public. The reality often is that their lives are but a microcosm of our own. We all tend to treat faith this way.

We shop at the Walmart of Religion and choose our belief systems like we’re putting together the components of an entertainment system. If we’re conservative we gravitate towards the fundamental. If we’re liberal we lean towards the indulgent. Most are somewhere in between and we choose a mix of components to build the belief system perfectly suited to our needs. We are all guilty of this. I say “guilty”, because as you have certainly figured out by now I find any such notion of faith a sad rendering of the real thing.

Faith should never be a search for what we find palatable, but for the truth of who God is and what God desires. My experience is that this rarely leads to a comfortable faith. The goal is not to find a god who thinks just like me, but for me to think just like God. For me, that means that I fully expect to be pushed, challenged, and admonished as well as encouraged, uplifted, and supported. This is all, of course, easier said than done. We all tend to seek out the places of comfort. So, how do we defend against this very human response?

Ironically, even as I rant about our consumeristic culture and its obsession with choice, I believe one of the keys to finding an authentic, uncompromising faith in God is a greater openness to the many expressions of faith. Let me try to be clear as to why I say this. Given the proclivity of humanity to meet one’s own desires and needs we need to constantly test our faith. I do not mean to suggest that we need to test God. The very nature of who God is, by most every definition, puts God beyond the scope of our testing. However, our understanding, our interpretation of who God is and what it means to believe in him needs to be constantly scrutinized. Otherwise, how are we to discern between what true faith is and what is human projection?

“Well, just read the Book”, you might say. Hmm, yes, yes, but don’t we have a tendency to read it, meaning the Bible, of course, through the very prejudiced lens of our own ideology. We tend to read into it what we want to get out of it. So, how do we overcome that flaw? Well, read the Bible, but read it all and understand that reading the Bible is never a “just read” proposition. Why? Because the true goal is not to read the Book, but to let God read us. We don’t interpret the Bible. Instead, our lives are interpreted in the light of God’s Word. Every conservative should feel the utter conflict of their desire for the clarity of the law with the ambiguity of God’s grace. Every liberal should feel the clash of their emphasis on tolerance with the uncompromising standards of God’s holiness. When we commit ourselves to this struggle and allow God to interpret us rather than satisfying our desire to interpret God, faith is born.

Friendship

"A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Proverbs 18:24

You can't make old friends. The truth of those words came to me as I spent time this weekend with one of my best and oldest friends. He and his family came out to Toledo to spend some time with me and mine. It was like a long drink from a familiar and refreshing stream. I felt so blessed by his friendship and the gift of time with him and his family.

In our transient times, it is very difficult to make friendships and old friendships are even more precious and rare. Why? There are a lot of reasons, but consider this. In the 1800's, the average person never traveled more than a 100 miles from their home in their entire lives. Even through the 1950's, 60's, and 70's most people remained in their hometowns to raise their families. Friendships were often maintained over decades and old friends might be those you have had for your entire life. How things have changed. Schools, jobs, and more cause us to move from place to place. Couple that with the relative ease of travel and we create a society in which one is almost reluctant to invest the time and effort to build lasting friendships. Consequently, many people find themselves lonely and hungering for the depth of honesty, commitment, and familiarity that only comes with an old friend. That's why I cherished this weekend so much.

Friendship is one of the great, priceless privileges of life. That's why I am so floored by something Jesus once said. Check it out:

"You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." John 15

Jesus says he wants friendship with us. The Savior of the world, the very Son of God, desires to be your friend; and get this. More than anyone else, he will be a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is a friend unfettered by time or distance or circumstance. With him you can experience unparalleled honesty and commitment. Moreover, there is no one who knows you better. So what must we do to have this friendship? What uncompromising command must we obey? Be a friend to others. That's it. That's what Jesus says. That's what Jesus asks of us in order for him to be our friend. Be a friend to others. Love each other. All he asks us to do is the very thing we so hunger in our lives. Create relationships of love that will last. What an amazing and precious thing friendship is? Yet, how even more friendship with God?

The Kingdom: A place to live or a way of living?

When we think about the Kingdom of God (or Heaven, take your pick) most of us tend to think of a place. We think of the Kingdom as the destination of our souls after death. The Kingdom is the place where we will spend life in eternity with God. The sensible summary of this is that the Kingdom is the future home of those who live rightly in the present.

Yet, this really was not the way that Jesus spoke of the Kingdom or eternal life. Let’s look quickly at a few passages from the Gospels. Jesus clearly found the Kingdom to be an important issue, since it emerged as the heart of his message right from the very beginning of his ministry. Take a look at Mark 1:14, 15:

4After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. 15"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!"

For Jesus, the Kingdom was near. Not near as in the near future. If so, he would have said, “The time is coming.” No. He means near as in close by. It has come. In other words, Jesus is telling us that where he is the Kingdom is. Why? Because the Kingdom is not a place. It is not a destination. It is God’s rule, God’s reign, and where Jesus is, God rules. Moreover, we can experience this Kingdom in our lives right now. How? Jesus tells us. Repent and believe. So, it is by faith and obedience that we can experience the rule of God in our lives. In other words, we can experience heaven on earth. Jesus told us to pray for this very thing: “Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

So what of eternal life? Again we tend to think of eternal life as something we will enter into after death. In reality, the Kingdom and eternal life are but two sides of the same coin. In Jesus teaching, eternal life is closely related to Shalom (i.e. the peace of God).

Shalom, in the biblical sense, means much more than what we typically think of as peace. Shalom means to be complete, perfect, and full. It is what Jesus proclaims for us, when he says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” [John 10:10] This life to the fullest is Shalom. This “peace” is life in the Kingdom. It is the experience of the full and complete rule of God in one’s life. This “peace” is the present experience of eternal life.

This can be true, because it is against the very nature of something “eternal” to simply reside in the future. The “eternal” is descriptive of something that always was and always will be. It is without beginning or end. It exists outside of the boundaries of time. When we understand this, we understand that eternal life does not simply describe the state of living forever after death. Eternal life is the experience of the complete and perfect life found by living within the incorruptible and ceaseless peace of God’s rule. This experience is not confined to the future.

Let’s take a look at one last story from Jesus life to illustrate this. In Luke 10:25 Jesus is asked a question: "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" I think that we tend to think of “inherit” as “earn”. We certainly think of “inherit” as obtaining something after someone’s death. But the Greek word translated as “do” means more than simply “earn” or “obtain”. It means “to bring forth” or “to continually produce”. The word “inherit” is even more interesting. It means to “obtain one’s portion of an inheritance”, but within jewish religious thought the word took on a greater meaning. In the Old Testament, the word was frequently used to describe the taking of possession of the promised land. This was the inheritance of God’s covenant promises with his people. Consequently, over time, the word evoked images of the possession of the holy land crowned with all divine blessings, an experience which Jews were to expect under the Messiah. Hence the word became associated with partaking in or experiencing eternal life in the Messiah’s Kingdom. So, what the man is asking Jesus is, “How do I bring forth and continually experience the blessings of my promised inheritance of eternal life?”

This is important to understand, because the man is not asking “how do I get to heaven?” In fact, such a question would be fairly nonsensical for a Jew. Heaven is understood in ancient Judaism as the domain of God, not humans. What this man wants to know is “How do I experience the Kingdom life?” When you understand that, you understand that Jesus’ reply does not imply that good works earn your way into heaven. What Jesus’ is saying is this: Acts of love are the truest expression of the eternal life. When we love God and love others we bring forth the Kingdom of God and God’s peace- the full and perfect life- breaks into our broken and imperfect world.

So don’t be satisfied with this life. Don’t wait to experience the fullness of eternal life. Live life to the fullest now. Live the Kingdom life. Love God, love people and experience the breakthrough Shalom, the Kingdom, of Eternal life today!

What do you believe?

There is one regret I have in my life. That I did not believe in God sooner. The irony of that is that I have believed in God as long as I can remember. I have had faith in Jesus Christ all of my cognizant life. In preschool, my parents were told I would become a pastor. So what is this regret?

I did believe in God, but my "god" was way too small. Why? I allowed the world to determine my depth of faith in God. When I was young, I read the Bible and I believed it. By this, I don't speak of the creation narratives or whether Jonah was actually swallowed by a fish. In fact, it really amazes me how people can get hung up arguing one way or the other about such things and miss the truly important things that are revealed to us in the Bible. Namely, that God is real. He is powerful, loving, and mysterious. AND He chooses to be actively involved in our lives.

God is neither passive nor impotent (meaning "without power" people). He sends angels. He heals the sick. He raises the dead. He gives people words of prophecy. The list really goes on and on.

I really believed that when I was young. Over time, that belief waned. I lacked confidence in the power of God. Now here is the interesting thing about that. This did not happen because God failed to show himself. Over the course of my life, I have seen God act in power in the lives of people. I have seen and experienced miracles.

However, so many people choose to ignore such things. They are convinced that God is distant, uninvolved, powerless. Yes, of course, there are many people without any faith who believe this way. But the startling reality is that there are an overwhelming number of people who are Christians whose lives reflect such a belief. This way of thinking is so prevalent that it effectively underminds the faith of those who believe in the power and presence of our God. It did so for me. And that's has been the regret of my life.

Until now. God has thankfully renewed that belief in my life. He did that by putting strong people of faith in my life and revealing the truth to me through his word. I don't just believe in a god. I don't even just simply believe in God. I believe in the God of the Bible. I believe in the God of power and might. I believe in the God who heals the sick and gives sight to the blind. I believe in the God who so loved us that he sent his Son, Jesus the Christ. I believe that Christ revealed to us the grace, love and power of His Father in heaven. I believe that before Jesus ascended to his Father, he sent the Holy Spirit to live with and in every follower. I believe that by the Holy Spirit, God still acts with power in and through the lives of those who put their faith in Him. What do you believe?

Sick

That's what I am. Sick. So for those of you who bless me by reading this blog, I'm sorry. My sinuses are pounding so hard that nothing worth saying seems to come to mind. Of course, I do understand that blogging historically has little to do with having something worth saying. In that, I mean that the beauty of blogging is that it is accessible to all. It is not reserved for the literary elite or the talented communicator. Anyone can share their thoughts, dreams, fears, joys, beliefs, opinions, prejudices. Then the public can decide whether its worthy to read. In this sense, blogs have the possibility to contain more authenticity and cultural relativity than any other piece of writing.

Then again, a lot of it, like this blog, is just junk. lol.

Believe first, doubt later

Choose to believe, rather than to doubt. This is a simple, but difficult way to live. Understand, I clearly believe in God. I have faith in Jesus Christ. Where this principle gets tested is in the nuances of the life of discipleship. Do I believe that God speaks to me? Do I believe that God heals? Do I believe that God actually loves and cares for me so much that he "knows the numbers of the hairs" on my head? Do I believe Jesus when he says, "anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these"?

If I'm honest with myself, my first inclination with any of these is to doubt. Understand, doubt can be a healthy thing. God created us with intelligence. It is healthy and often wise to question before blindly accepting. It is not God's intent that we mind numbingly attribute every action, every consequence of an action, every happenstance to God. I get it. We shouldn't have to dumb ourselves down in order to believe. However, if our initial stance is always to doubt, we run a great risk. We may eliminate any possibility that God is working in our lives. We write off an answer to prayer as a product of coincidence. We dismiss the words of someone claiming to receive a prophecy as the conscious imaginings of subconscious impulses. Worst of all we move through life expecting that God is really quite inactive and uninterested in our lives from day to day.

Here's the thing. That mode of living is completely incongruous with what we learn of God in the Bible. The apostles lived with the absolute expectancy that God was, is, and always will be working right in the midst of the lives of His people. Yes, sometimes that did mean that God was working through unseen channels in subtle pushes and pulls. But, often God was a lot less obscure than that. Often, God was downright brazen in His insertions into the lives of His followers. People were healed. Prophecies were given. The dead were raised. We're told in the Book of Acts from the Bible again and again how many, many miraculous signs and wonders were done through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yet, so often we seem to believe that God can't or won't do these things now. However, entertaining such thoughts carries with them some devastating results in our ability to have faith in God. If we believe God can't, we undermine his authority. God is the creator of all, the king of the universe. To suggest that there is something that "lords" itself over God, that he has no power to overcome, is to make him something less than God. If we say that God won't, we undermine God's character. God calls us to see Him as our Father in heaven who wants all good things for his children. To suggest that God will not act in our lives is to characterize God as uncaring, distant, even callous. He becomes more a resentful judge than a loving Dad. Either path, believing God can't or God won't, leads to some difficult conclusions.

So, what choice are we left with? Believe. Have faith. Dare to err on the side of anticipating, expecting God to be brazenly involved in your life, rather than cautiously erring on the side of seeing God in little or, as it often happens, in nothing. Believe first and doubt later. Yes, sometime you will be wrong. That dream you thought was from God really was just the pizza you had the night before. But, sometime you will be right and that makes the risk worth it. Why? Because in the end this is not just some theorem, this is not merely a science experiment or a philosophy to be tested. This is God and the very nature of having faith in God means that we believe he is bigger, more important, and more real than our doubt.

Time of Abiding

Patience, patience. Ah, it is something I so lack in my life. Yet, I know it is necessary for our spiritual growth. We, particularly Americans, want to do, do, do. Moreover, we want results. Now. But Jesus Christ teaches us that "being" is as important as "doing." So how do we learn to "be" disciples? We spend time abiding or remaining in him.

That's what Jesus tells his disciples in the Gospel according to John, the 15th chapter (I've pasted the relevant verses from John 15 at the end of this blog). Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." To understand what Jesus means we need to understand a little about vinedressing or, in other words, the maintenance and care of the plants within a vineyard. Pruning or cutting back the branches is an essential piece in producing tastier and more abundant fruit. Without pruning, the branch will weaken. Eventually, it will wither under the strain of its production and die.

However, when a branch is pruned back something significant happens. The vine protectively grows over the pruned branch encapsulating it within itself. Thus, the branch remains or abides in the vine. There it gains in strength and when it emerges it is stronger and able to bear more and better fruit.

The danger of "doing" all the time is to believe that we are capable of producing anything of value apart from Christ, our Vine. If you don't spend time with Him, we will never produce the fruit that God wants us to produce in our lives. We need to understand, as the apostle Paul often said, that our lives are in Christ. If they're not, then we are detached from the source of life and we will never realize the strength that is found in Him.

Still, how do we remain or abide in Him. Jesus also gives us the answer to this when he says "abide in my love." We need to let the love of Jesus Christ cover us. We need to receive and soak in the grace of God. Spend time with Jesus in prayer. Read his words. Listen to what he has to say to you. Sometimes, just rest in Him. Do nothing but invite him to join you and let His presence, His love refresh you. Jesus wants us to experience life in the Vine, life in Christ. Why? Well, listen to what he says: "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

Do you want to have a fruitful life, a life that is productive? Do you want the "doing" of your life to have meaning? Then first learn how to "be".

That is the lesson we are learning right now at "10:35. " The last year has really focused on what God is doing inside of us. We've focused on "being" disciples, rather than doing. We have definitely seen some pruning during this time. But, patience. The branch is growing strong and the fruit will come.

John 15

The Vine and the Branches

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

Time to "go"

I'm waiting for the van to take me to the airport. I look back and so much has happened. I've learned so much. I've received so much affirmation for who I am and what God is calling me to. Now, the end has come to this week and it is time to go. I'm saddened in many ways, but I am excited to go.

I am, of course, excited to go and see my family. I have missed them immensely this year. But I am also excited to "go" in ministry. God has given me the apostolic gift and the missional heart. I am ready to go! Look out Toledo here I come. I'm ready to venture out in the deep water. I'm gonna swim!

Only God could know...

Imagine someone telling you something that spoke so powerfully to the deepest longings of your heart that you could not help but weep at the sheer sound of those words. That's what happened to me last night. I couldn't even bring myself to write about it at that time. It was too personal and emotionally charged. But now I can share it with you.

I know even as I share them that you that the reader cannot possibly understand the depth to which I was moved by what happened. The words may sound meaningful, inspiring perhaps. But, for me, it was as if God reached into my heart to pluck from it the words that make it beat. Here's what happened.

On Thursday afternoon, a time for prayer was offered for anyone who wished to come forward. I did so. As I waited for someone to come up to me to pray over me, I prayed for those around me. I worshipped God and praised Him for the work He was doing in the lives of so many people this week. After some time, I was prayed over and annointed with oil at which time I returned to my seat. I continued to worship God with unhindered joy when suddenly Mic Woodhead, lead pastor of St. Tom's- Crookes, walked across the room straight towards me. He laid hands on me and said, "Tom, God has just given me a word for you." What follows are the words. Words that are perhaps no more than mere words to most. But, to me, were like the songs of God's angels to the ears of man.

"God has given to me an image of you standing in the shallows, water up to your ankles. You are splashing around in the shallows and God says, 'I love you and I love the work that you've done for me, but it is time to come deeper.' God is now leading you out of the shallows. The water is rising and soon your feet can know longer touch the bottom. You find yourself swimming. Your swimming, Tom! And the joy of the Lord is filling you as you swim in the breadth and depth of what he as planned for you. God has so much more planned for you, Tom. It's time to trust and to walk out into the deep waters and swim. And, Tom, I see another picture, a picture of you standing at the gates of heaven. And people, many people, are queued up to greet you, to shake your hand, to embrace you. And one by one they tell you, 'Thank you, it is because of you that I am here.' Many, many lives are being touched and changed because of you- a person you've talked to. A person you've helped bring into the Kingdom who then touched another life. And God is happy, Tom! He loves you. He rejoices in what you have done and will do for Him. It is not the big church or ministry that you will ever lead, but the lives that you have touched and made a difference in. And God is pleased."

About midway through, I began to weep. What followed was 30 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing- shoulder heaving, face hiding tears of joy.

I sought Mic out after the service. He asked me if I was okay. I told him very, but he needed to know how much those words meant to me. "You see," I said, "there is no way you could have known this, but I can't swim. I have always wanted to, but I can't. I can't think of an image that would have spoke more powerfully to me about what God wants to do in my life." And Mic began to laugh... out loud, head tilted back... like I have never heard him laugh before. "That is so the humor of God! That was a word from Him, Tom. A word from God for You!"

"Every time I think about it," I said, "Everytime I think about everything you said... there is nothing more, nothing greater I could have wanted to hear. No words could have had more meaning. I can't stop crying everytime I think about them. I just wanted to hug you when you said them."

Then Mic, still laughing, through his arms around me and said, "Then cry, Tom! Keep crying. Don't stop. Those words are going to come true. They're going to happen!" And I did. I kept crying, laughing, and crying some more. I suppose I will keep crying every time I think about them. No one could know what those words would me to me except me... and God!

Battery Power

I’m going to keep it short tonight. Today was an awesome day for me spiritually. This week has been everything I have hoped for and more. It is not that I am learning some radically different things than last year. Though we did hear some challenging teaching today from Paul Maconochie on Spiritual Warfare. It is, rather, the growth that God is producing in me. It is the time spent in worship and prayer. It is the encouragement and grace that accompanies this ministry and the people involved in it. It is more than just feeling recharged. It is though the Holy Spirit battery within me has been changed from a AAA to a D. My capacity for the Holy Spirit has increased and thus so has the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. Praise be to God!

Pioneering Mission

This was the day I was hoping for since the flight over. Having balked at God’s leading to pray for the woman on the flight over, I was praying for an opportunity to be pressed well outside my comfort zone. This day we signed up for different experiences of “out” ministry. I intentionally sought one that would cause me to surrender and trust in our awesome God.

What I signed up for was an experience called “pioneering mission” with Toby Bassford. Toby is an incredibly gifted young adult leader with a huge heart for reaching people with the good news of Jesus Christ. This opportunity would involve going down to the town center two-by-two and allowing God to lead us to approach someone to share a word from God, pray for healing or any other needs, or share good news of God’s grace and love for people.

However, even before doing that, we spent five minutes in silent prayer asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us a word or picture concerning the people He would have us meet. Toby said to pay attention to anything that comes to mind. This is important, because when doing this we have two choices. We can either discount those things as random thoughts or self-produced ideas, and therefore, we eliminate the possibility that anything has come from God. Or we can decide to believe that God does and is speaking to us, creating an environment that is open to receiving a word from God. So, trust, seek to be obedient, and share whatever comes to mind.

For me, there were two words. The first was Sussex. The second was dame or damsel. We determined there was a Sussex Street near town center where we were headed. No one had any good ideas about the second. So, I set off with a young guy named John who had just finished FORM. He thought he had an idea where Sussex Street was located. Two miles later we were still looking with no idea whom God was leading us to. We prayed together as we walked, asking God for His guidance.

At one point, we passed a man on a bridge. I thought, perhaps, that God wanted us to talk to him. Furthermore, we had asked a number of people about the location of Sussex Street to no avail. Perhaps one more would be the trick. So, I said, “Sir, do you happen to know where Sussex Street is?”

He said, “Perhaps, if you tell me what you are looking for I can help.”

I said, “Well, that’s an interesting thing. We’re both Christians and a little bit ago I was praying and I believe God wants me to go to Sussex Street and pray for someone.”

He got a rather quizzical look on hi s face and said, “Well, I think if you cross the bridge, you’ll find Sussex on the other side.” With a bit of humor in your voice he added, “I hope ya find’m.”
Feeling a little bolder (heck, he already thought I was crazy at this point) I asked, “There isn’t by chance something that you would like us to pray about?”

“No, I’m good,” he said a little nervously. “Unless you could get me a windfall of some cash. I could really use some time away from my work.” A little laughter. “But, naw, that’s alright.”

I felt like pressing the prayer at this point would be wrong, but I did say, “We really do pray God’s blessing on your life. Thank you for helping us find our destination.”

As we walked away, John prayed, “ Jesus, supernaturally relieve this man of some of the pressures at work. And may it happen in such a way that he would remember this encounter and be drawn closer to you.”

Sussex Street was across the bridge. But, he was our only encounter. Was this the person God wanted us to find? We may never know. But as Toby shared at the beginning of our little four mile trek, the point of this exercise is not to have some evangelistic success story. The point is to be obedient. Walk in obedience. Live life more consciously in a state of obedience. Go where God says to go. Talk to those whom he leads you to talk to. Pray for others. Believe, trust, obey and leave the rest up to God. This day, John and I did that and we trust God to do the rest. What an awesome experience!

First Prophecy of the Week

Each year, before we come to Sheffield, some of their people with the prophetic gift pray over the names of those coming to Pilgrimage (that’s what the week is called). If someone receives a word for that person they are to write it down. We are then given these prophecies at the start of the week with the understanding that they may mean nothing to us or they may be spot on (a little british speak for you there). Mind you, they don’t have anything other than a name. Well, here is mine. Judge for yourself.

“Picture of you as the Shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to seek and to save the 1. Sense of you having a calling to those ‘on the edge’, those who don’t ‘git’ standard church. God shares the desire of your heart and will equip and enable you.”

An awesome start

Today was the first day of the conference and it has already been quite powerful. Mike Breen began the day with a devotion on Covenant and Kingdom. It was a review of teaching I have heard Mike give before, but still very good.

What followed was my first breakout in track 2 (at least one year of experience with lifeshapes) covering the Triangle. This was led by Steve Cochram of 3D ministries. It was extremely engaging. Of particular interest to me, was how to use the up:in:out of the Triangle as a diagnostic tool for the church. When using the shape in this way you address the areas of vision, teamwork, and task. Some of you will be hearing more about this!

The next teaching time was offered by Mic Woodhead and dealt also with Covenant and Kingdom. However, this material was very fresh, very challenging and very powerful. We examined the 4 truths of Covenant and the 4 truths of Kingdom. It is far too much for me to cover right now, but in short Covenant deals with who you are (your identity) and Kingdom deals with what you do (your purpose).

At lunch, I met with Steve Cochram whom I had begun a conversation with via email before even coming to Sheffield. We had a lively and wonderful conversation about the implications of implimenting these teachings within the church. Lunch was over before we knew it and I had received a bonus time of instruction to boot.

Challenges and Blessings

So, I found out a couple days before coming that my host family was going to be gone for the weekend. They lead a young adult ministry called Form and this weekend was their year-end retreat. I was excited to be staying with them because of their involvement in this ministry, but I was also a little disappointed that they were going to be gone for the weekend. Last year, this first weekend was an incredible opportunity to get to know the family I was with and to take part in the life of the church through and with them.

Well, Mic Woodhead, lead pastor at St. Thomas, Crookes, discovered that I was without a host family this weekend. So, he invited me and Paul (the other pastor from St. Paul's) to spend all day Saturday with him, his family, and Kent Hunter. This was an incredible opportunity to learn from one of the key leaders in Sheffield one on one. It was an awesome day.

As a result of this time, Mic offered to have 10:35 act as a pilot site for a new ministry they are developing. It is a pre-Alpha program that is intended to be used in coffee shops and pubs (B-dubs?) to engage people in conversations about faith. The three main areas of discussion will be career, relationships, and the future. It will be a dvd format with an opening discussion starter that can be played on your laptop. It is still in production, but they hope to have it done around the first of the year.

Today, Sunday, we attended the family service at St. Thomas, Philly and the evening Become service geared towards the significant college population, also at Philly. The family service was really amazing. As it began, children danced and played freely throughout the worship space. More than tolerated, it was encouraged. They waved flags and danced in circles. They leapt for joy and laughed and played. It made me cry. So pure their worship seemed. Unfortunately, after the opening set of music they were released for Children's Ministry. I was truly sad to see them go.

The evening worship was held in a slightly smaller venue. The seating was about 100 chairs- 50 to either side. The rest of the space was filled with pillows and sofas. Though not much sitting occurs during this service anyways. The worship of these young adults was as nearly exhuberant as that of the children. Dancing and singing. Faces filled with the joy of the Lord. The Holy Spirit was, no doubt, dancing about the room from person to person.

Paul M. (sorry, can't spell his last name right now), lead pastor at St. Thomas, Philly, gave the message at both of these services. He gave two excellent messages based on Scripture from the books of Joshua and Acts. The first was on living within the covenant promises of God. The second on accepting and owning the call of God on our lives.

Tomorrow, the actual conference starts. I'm already aware of some powerful opportunities we will be given to stretch ourselves and grow in faith. You will be sure to hear about them. Out for now.
-Tom

Manchester today, Sheffield tomorrow

I'm typing from the gratis hotel web access. The flight was good, yet I believe God was already trying to teach me. Here's what happened.

During the flight I was working on a message I will be giving the first week in August. The series is entitled Summer On The Beach and is about the encounters that the disciples had with Jesus along the shores of the Sea of Galilee that challenged them to follow Jesus ever more closely. This first message in the series will deal with the reality that Jesus did not call his disciples to "believe" in certain theological principles or "act" in accordance with certain behaviors and laws. He simply said, "Follow me!" "Following" is the simplest action of a disciple. It is also the greatest action of a disciple. There is no truer sign of commitment than to follow- wherever Christ may lead.

Having said that, I fell a sleep for a little while on the trip from Detroit to Amsterdam (my first flight before connecting to Manchester). Suddenly, I was awaken with a thought-- "Pray for the woman two seats to my left. Pray for her sinuses." So, I did. When I looked over, I saw that she indeed was having some kind of problem. But, instantly I knew that simply praying wasn't what the Holy Spirit meant. I was supposed to tell her that God told me to pray for her. I was supposed to pray with her.

Let me tell you, I knew this is what Christ wanted me to do. He was saying to me, "This is the depth of followership that I am looking for. Are you ready to do this? Are you ready to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit? If so, I will lead you to places you have not been and cannot get to without following me."

I was not. That's right. No big discipleship success story here. For reasons I can't even explain, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was such a struggle as I'm sure Christ knew it would be. I have so much growing to do yet and so much more I can give to Christ. Afterall, He asks for no less than all of me. He does not have that yet. So, I ask Christ's forgiveness and I ask for your prayers. Pray that I would die to self so I can live for Christ. Pray that I would be able to follow wherever he may lead. Pray, as I do, that this is just the first of many such opportunities on this trip.

Well, it looks as though I will not have access to the web until Sunday night. So, it appears that it will be Sunday or Monday until you hear from me again. However, I should be able to blog each day after that. Based upon what has happened already, I know I will have a lot to share.

My daughter, the Presbyterian

So, my sixteen year old daughter and I go out to dinner together nearly every week. It's a very cool thing. Most of the time we talk about "stuff", nothing significant. Once in a while we'll talk about something deep or important to one of us. Sometimes I think she says things just to see what kind of reaction she can get out of me.

The other day she says, "Dad, I've decided I'm a Presbyterian." Now, I have been a pastor ordained into the Lutheran church for nineteen years. Additionally, as far as I know, Anna has never stepped into a Presbyterian church. Nevertheless, there she sat with that defiant, yet whimsical, smile on her face proclaiming her new allegiance. Mind you, this is the same girl who insisted that "10:35" was a non-denominational church no matter who the pastor (her father) was. She wouldn't believe it, but I really do love this about her. She thinks of me as pretty conservative, but pushing the boundaries of convention is something I've been accused of on more than one occasion. So, I smiled and asked her what led her to this new revelation.

The issue was Calvinistic predestination. She had recently learned about it (really, the things they teach in public school nowadays) and decided it made a lot of sense. What ensued was this wonderfully deep and complicated discussion on the merits of predestination as taught by Calvin, Luther, and others.

That interaction I had with my daughter is a model for me of the kinds of conversations I want to have with all people and how I should seek to respond to those who have viewpoints that differ from mine. Here's what I mean. The foundation of this whole conversation with my daughter was my love for her. I'm emotionally invested in her. So, I want to encourage her to think through the things of God. I want to challenge her, but I also want to listen to her. I want her to know that I value her opinion as I value her. I celebrate her spiritual inquisitiveness, knowing that Christ can use it to draw her closer to Him. She matters to me. I can question her stance, but I don't want to judge her. I can push her to think more deeply, but I don't want to push her away.

I contrast that with the many stories I hear from people who have felt judged and belittled by Christians. Just recently, I met with someone who shared with me some of her recent experiences with Christians. She is a deeply spiritual person who has been disconnected from the church for some time. She has a sincere faith in Jesus, but is highly inquisitive. She has read The Secret, though it seemed a bit indulgent to her, and thinks Eckhart Tolle is right on with some of his stuff, but not all. She also has a deep appreciation and love for nature. She can look at a handfull of soil and see the handiwork of God. So, what did those Christians closest to her have to say about all of this. They called her a wiccan and a pagan. They disrespected her beliefs, but much more importantly, they disrespected her. There was no love in their dealings with her. What she felt was their contempt or, even worse, pity.

Through some caring Christ-followers, God is now calling her closer to Him. But, what a tragedy this experience almost was. What a loss for the Kingdom. Why? Because too often Christians forget what Christ proclaimed as the greatest commandment: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Yay Holiday Weekends!

What an awesome weekend! Finally it felt like Spring. The weather was beautiful. My whole family is home (oldest daughter has returned from college) and my sister was in for a visit. We ate, drank, played card games, watched a couple of movies on video, and were just generally carefree and laid back.

For the record, "Dan in Real Life" was BORING. It wasn't even a good chick flick. Predictable. Guy falls in love with girl he can't have. Bad things happen. All seems lost. Guy gets girl. Hooray. Everyone's happy. Blah! I don't think there was a single laugh out loud moment in this movie that starred two of the funniest people alive- Dane Cook and Steve Carell.

The second film we watched was "Transformers." At least things blow up in that movie. Still, nothing could dampen a weekend of sheer relaxation and good company. I hope everyone had such a great weekend.

I'm tired of going to church!

Yeah, that's right. That's not a typo. I'm tired of going to church.

Now you know there has to be a catch. After all, I'm a pastor! Time for a career change if I hate the church. Ah, well there is the conundrum. I don't hate the Church. I love the Church. Always have. Even in those times when, well, the church has been less than loveable. I can never imagine that changing. It's the call that God has given me.

However, I am tired of going to church. Why? The whole notion of Church being something I can go to and leave is a complete misunderstanding of the Church that God established and that we read about in the Bible. The Church IS the called and gathered people of God. It is our identity. You can no more go to Church than you can go to Smith or Schaeffer or [insert your last name here]. My name is part of my identity. It marks me as belonging to a family. The family can, for sure, gather, but I don't cease being a part of that family when we are not together. I am a Schaeffer. Similarly, the idea of going to Church is nonsensical. I am, we are, the Church.

That is an important mental shift to make. To think of Church as a place you can go to is to fail to see it as identity. You can go to Boy Scouts. You can go to the country club. You can go to the "Y". We hold membership in these things. We may feel a kindred relationship with others who are members. We may even feel that they are a part of our identity, but they do not define us. They are not the whole of who we are. To be Church is to know that this identity cannot be compartmentalized into some tidy corner of our lives. To be Church is to live knowing that one's relationship with God invades every area of our lives. I am, we are, the Church. Apart from this, I cannot be known.

Yet, so many of us, myself included more often than I care to admit, slip Church into that neat and safe category of something we are members of. We compartmentalize it. We come and go from the Church as we please. If we're really religious, that means once a week. I cannot help but believe that Jesus himself weeps over a Church that has become so institutionalized.

So, I am tired of going to church. I am grief-stricken at the notion of the Church seeing itself as going to church. I want to be the Church. I want the Church to be the Church. I want to see the transformation that would take place within the Church and the power for good, for love, for hope that would cascade out into the world like a spiritual tsunami if the Church embraced its identity. I am, we are, the Church.

Catch up!

So, it's been a little hectic lately. Consequently, I didn't even look at my blog last week. Now I'm playing a little catch up with everything. Nevertheless, better busy than boring is what I say.

Busy it has been. But, it has also been productive. Over the course of the last two weeks we have hired an administrative assistant, flown in and intensely interviewed two prospective Directors of Student Ministries, and continued to make plans for a total overhaul of our governing structure for the entire ministry.

I must confess, I love when ministry is like this. It simply does not allow you to play it safe and stay in the comfort zone. I don't think Jesus ever did that. Sure, he rested as we all need to, but even his rest was simply recharging for the next step in the journey.

Well, like I said, I'm playing catch-up. So, I'm out for now. Later.

Road-maps

I don't think my oldest daughter reads this blog. Good thing, because she really hates hearing what I'm about to say. She has one of the absolutely worst senses of direction I've ever seen in a person. The girl doesn't have a clue. My wife and I better have our cell phones handy when she is traveling, because she is liable to end up a state away in the opposite direction from where she was headed.

Part of the problem is that this extremely intelligent young woman who graduated in the top of her High School class can't seem to grasp the fundamental workings of a road-map. This flat piece of paper doesn't translate into actual geography and location for her. That's critical, because if you don't know where you are, it's pretty tough to get to where you are going. You can't plot a course for the journey if you don't know the starting point.

That bit of road-map wisdom is true for any journey a person may be on. The very first step in getting to where you want to be is to understand and plot out from whence you start. This is an often overlooked step that causes many of us to walk without direction into an uncertain pursuit of our goals. It would be akin to me blindfolding you, dropping you in the middle of the proverbial "nowhere" and telling you to find your way to "somewhere". To launch out in a direction without first determining your current location would be foolish. The first order of business is to discover where you are.

Where you are determines HOW you are going to get there. Consider, you and I can have identical goals, but the paths we take to achieve them will, in all probability, be very different. Why? Simply, we are beginning in different places. So, what are the initial and necessary steps one should take before stepping out in pursuit of a preferred future?

The first step is to observe. For our purposes, observation is the gathering of facts. Where are you? Who is with you? How did you get here? Your first step is to have a very clear, objective picture of your current location. You want to be as clinical and honest with yourself as you can be. This honesty in observation allows you to most accurately plot the starting point for your journey. Think of plugging in a location on googlemaps. You can start with a country, then, perhaps, a state. Eventually, you enter a street name, an address or, if you want to be extremely precise, enter the exact longitude and latitude or your location. Bottom line, the more information you provide about your location the more accurate your starting point will be. The more accurate the starting point is the clearer your directions will be to your destination.

However, for our journey raw data is not enough. There are intangibles that affect our starting point. That's why we need to do more than simply observe. We need to reflect. Why am I where I am? What's my current state of mind? How did my former decisions influence my current disposition? While observation was concerned with the objective environmental facts, reflection is concerned with the subjective internal conditions. What you are trying to determine is how prepared you are and, thus, how you must prepare yourself for the journey. This is notoriously difficult to do. It's akin to sketching a portrait of yourself without a mirror. It's difficult to accurately see ourselves without the help of a tool for reflection. We need something or, in this case, someone to act as our mirror.

We need to discuss our situation to gain greater insight and a more accurate picture of who and where we are. That's our third step: discussion. Before setting out in pursuit of your goals garner the insight and advice of someone you trust and whose acuity you respect. A trusted and wise friend provides clarity in viewing ourselves that we may not otherwise achieve. This person needs to have your permission to speak truth and the courage to do it. Their task is to help you see through the fog of your own self-perception. No one can provide this kind of self-awareness more than God. He is the one who knows you better than any other. He formed you. He thought you up and then brought you into being. Part of your discussion should undoubtedly be prayer. Pray for self-revelation. Ask God to reveal how He sees you. Then be ready to be challenged and changed.

Once you have taken these steps you are prepared for the next phase of your journey. No, you are not yet ready to venture out and take your first step. You would still be premature. However, now fully understanding where you are and assuming you have taken equal diligence in deciding where you are to go, you are now ready to plan a successful journey. You can intelligently map out your direction. You can assure that you have everything you need for the trip. You can have the confidence that your are mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared. So, remember. Before you can get to where you're going, you have to know where you are.

Back to St. Tom's

So, it is only about a month and a half before I head back to Sheffield, England. Last year, this was one of the most transformational events in all my years of ministry. It's difficult for me to really explain what happen while I was there. I can only think of the words of John the Baptist when he said of Jesus, "He must increase, but I must decrease." That's what began to happen in Sheffield.

I still cling to self, but I have surrendered much. I pray that God continues that work of claiming more and more of me for His good pleasure. May God do with me what he will and may St. Tom's in Sheffield once again be His catalyst for that work in my life.

So, what's God up to now?

That question could be the name of my memoirs if I ever wrote them. The ride I've taken thus far as a follower of Jesus Christ has been amazing. When I decided to go into ordained ministry as a freshman in high school, I prayed, "Lord, make me a pastor in interesting times. I don't want to see your Church stuck, either unable or unwilling to move forward."

Little did I know that prayer was really about me. I was the one who would be challenged with being "stuck". I was the one in danger of either being unable or unwilling to move forward.

Having grown up in east coast Lutheranism, a highly liturgical brand of mainline Christianity that seemed determined keep its eyes in the past and walk backward into the future, the rapidly changing world in which I was called to minister became a completely unknown and foreign land. As a dear friend of mine said in about our fifth year of ministry, "The Church we were prepared to lead, no longer exists."

He was absolutely correct. In seminary, I was taught to be the theologian loci for the parish church. The problem that emerged was the move from modernism to post-modernism. The resulting turmoil within our culture and within a church that was either unable or unwilling to adapt meant that the parish church was vanishing. I was now firmly planted in a mission field and I would have to learn how to be a missionary to a post-modern world or be left staring into the past, indeed becoming a relic of the past myself. So throughout my ministry, God kept prodding and pushing me to let go of the moorings of the past and follow him. How many times have I found myself asking that question, "God, what are you up to now?" God had indeed answered my prayer. These were interesting times.

And how I thank God for answering that prayer! As I look forward, I am so excited about what I see in the future for the Church, for Christ-followers. God is and always will be relevant. Only the Church is in danger of becoming irrelevant, but what a shame that would be because for those who will dare to step out and follow where Christ walks the journey will be amazing.

For me it has been and will continue to be that. Now I see my past from a different perspective. It was preparation for the present. It is my point of origin and your point of origin determines how you will travel to your destination. Perhaps, I'll talk more about that another time.

Come Holy Spirit, Come!

Why are so many of us satisfied with a life that is mundane? I am reading through the book of Acts and I am floored by the kind of life lived by the apostles. They lived, man! There was no governor on the power that fueled them. Life was lived wide-open.

I want that kind of life. I want to experience a Christianity like that in Acts 2 when it says, "everyone was filled with awe." They couldn't believe what God was doing in and through them. But, they embraced it. They basked in it. They were immersed in this life. That's what it means to be "filled with" or to "be baptized in" the Holy Spirit. Life runs best on the perfect mixture of fuel and air, Word and Spirit.

Even now, that's what I see happening in my life. I'm studying the Word of God and the life of the early Christ-followers empowered by the Holy Spirit. As I do, I open myself up more to the Holy Spirit to empower me. Fuel and air. I just want to keep throttling it up, studying God's Word, praying "Come, Holy Spirit, Come!" Then I want to take this high-octane life called Christianity out on the road and really open 'er up! Forget the mundane. Forget the boring. The predictable. Let's live!

Living on the Edge

So, we are launching this new series at 10:35 based on the book of Acts in the Bible. The series is called Living on the Edge and it examines how God worked through ordinary people to move Christianity beyond the boundaries of merely being a sect within Judaism to being a worldwide movement of Christ-followers. The more I prepare for this series, the more excited about it I get. God has definitely been working on us at 10:35 to move away from being a "church of attraction" to being a missional church.

God's intended purpose for the Church is for it to go to the world with the good news of the Kingdom of God. However, many churches are stuck in a mindset determined to get people to come to church. This is the mindset of an institution, not a movement. This is a mindset that sees the church as brick and mortar, not the living Body of Christ.

This vision of the Church as an organic, missional movement is at the very heart of the book of Acts. As we move through this book over the next 6 weeks, I believe God is going to really open our eyes concerning what He wants for the Church and what He wants for 10:35. This is going to be exciting stuff!