Faith and Doubt

[Reader: Originally, I started this as an answer to a comment left on the last post entitled "The Following Leader." However, I felt as though the material was relevant enough for a post. The overriding question of the comment I am responding to was, essentially, "How do I overcome my doubts about healing?" Trust me when I say I am oversimplifying an incredibly thoughtful and thought-provoking comment, so I encourage you to go back and read what they had to say.]

 

Your questions are most of the questions I have been dealing with for over half of my life. Moreover, these questions have been asked by seekers and Christ-followers alike for almost two thousand years. The answers are simple, but not easy.

The core issue here is one of faith. Consequently, we have to begin with a discussion of the nature of faith. Essentially, we can sort faith into three categories. The first we will call public convictions. Public convictions are not necessarily faith at all. It is more PR exhibited for the benefit of others. It is the display of faith that one feels is necessary to gain advantage or approval from others. King Herod demonstrated this "faith" that is really no more than the appearance of faith when he asked the magi to share with him the location of the newborn Christ so that he, too, could worship him. Herod didn't want to worship Jesus. He wanted to kill him. He said what he thought was necessary to gain the approval of the magi.

Though our reasons are most assuredly not as extreme, we can often display public convictions that we really don't believe. The culture we live in or even the people we are currently in the presence of dictate the faith we are willing to share. So, hypothetically, you are, politically, a member of party xyz. However, in this election you believe you are going to vote for the presidential candidate of party abc. Now you are out to dinner with some of your long time xyz cronies. They are talking about how wonderful the candidate of xyz is. You sit there and nod your head in agreement, because it is easier to agree at this point than to express your true feelings and ruin a perfectly good dinner. This demonstrates how our public convictions do not always represent what we truly believe.

The next type of faith we demonstrate can be summarized as our private convictions. Private convictions are things I think I believe until circumstances change and show me that I do not believe them. For example, you are in a relationship and you sincerely believe that you have found the perfect partner. That is, until you find out that they have been unfaithful all along. Suddenly, you don't want to ever see that person again. Were your convictions sincere? Absolutely. Were they true? Not so much.

A biblical example of this is found when Jesus tells Peter that he will deny him three times. Peter exclaims that this would never happen. Did he sincerely believe this? Yes. Was it true? No.

The last type of faith is represented by our core convictions. Core convictions are beliefs that are so absolutely real to us that we would never, never violate them. Our public convictions may be bogus. Our private convictions may be fickle. But, our core convictions are actually believed and demonstrated by our actions. This is what James means when he writes, "Faith without works is dead." (James 2:17-19) His point is not that it is our works or our actions that get us into heaven. His point is that our actions demonstrate the depth of our convictions. Consequently, faith that is unaccompanied by actions that demonstrate our conviction is something less than true faith. In may be public. It may even be private. But it is not core. It is this core faith that Jesus wants to work on in our lives. It is our core convictions that he is concerned about.

So, as we speak about healing, the principle issue is our core convictions. This is what we are really talking about when we speak of faith. Now, does the presence of faith mean that there will be no doubt? Not at all. To the contrary, one cannot doubt without faith. Doubt is evidence of the presence of faith. Consider, if someone does not believe in something they do not have doubt about it. They simply lack faith. Doubt, on the other hand, is the questioning of what one believes. It is an uncertainty or lack of confidence. It presupposes faith.

Let me give you an example. Do you have faith that I read every comment posted on my blog? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that your answer is "Yes." Now your confidence is not born out of ignorance. It is firmly grounded in experience. Most of the time, I respond to the questions posed in my comments. Moreover, you know a little bit about me. I'm a pretty stand-up guy. It would be contrary to my character to give the appearance of reading all my comments when in actuality I do not. But can you prove it? I don't always respond and the only way you have of knowing, absolutely knowing I have read a comment, is when I do respond. So, can you say without a shadow of a doubt that I have read every comment? No, really, you can't. That is the presence of doubt in faith.

Now, over time, can your confidence and your certainty grow? Absolutely. How? If I continue to prove myself to be faithful in answering, your doubt will decrease and your certainty will increase. Even if I don't answer every comment, the preponderance of the evidence would point to the fact that I do read them all.

When it comes to healing prayer, the pattern is much the same. My faith in God and his ability to heal is not born out of ignorance. First, it is grounded in what I know about God. As I have grown in my relationship with God, as I have gotten to know him better, His character becomes clearer to me. Furthermore, God has demonstrated his willingness and ability to heal. Numerous times over my ministry, I have seen people healed in such a way that even doctors have referred to them as miracles. Now, has every person I've prayed for been healed? No. So, can I say without a shadow of a doubt that God heals? No, really, I can't. But faith is not about the absence of doubt. It is about the presence of certainty. As it says in Hebrews 11, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." It's interesting what this verse infers. The ability to actually "see" or to know beyond a shadow of a doubt destroys faith. Why? Because then it is no longer faith. You know. You don't believe.

But I will say this. The more I pray for healing, the more I trust God and believe that he will heal, the more faithful he proves himself to be. Does He heal everyone? No. Do I understand why? Not a chance. But the preponderance of the evidence of my experience increases my certainty every day. So, do not let your doubts discourage you. Pray as you can, not as you can't. In other words, pray with what faith you have and ask God to assuage what doubts you have. As a father once said who brought his son to Jesus for healing prayer, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)

[Much credit is given to John Ortberg, noted Christian author and pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church and his message given on October 5, 2008 concerning the issue of faith.]

Lead and Get Out of the Way: The Following Leader

I've been discussing the issue of leadership within the Church and, more specifically, leading the ministry of which I have been given oversight. If you haven't already, you will really need to read the last two posts in order to track this continuing dialogue. I would also recommend that you read the comments as there have been some very interesting conversations that have ensued.

I thought it would be helpful (for me, at least) to brain-dump an example of how I have seen this leadership come into play at "10:35". Healing has never been a part of my ministry. Never may be too strong, but to be honest, for the better part of my ministry I never treated it seriously. Let me explain.

I believed God healed. However, I never really, truly expected to see healing myself. I would pray for it when I visited folks in the hospital, but usually these prayers were pretty safe. I would pray for God to fully equip the doctors to use the gifts he had given them. I would pray for a quick recover from a surgery already performed. Any healing beyond this I would always temper with the phrase "If it be Your Will." "Father, if it be Your Will, please heal [name] from [insert condition]." "Father, we ask that you heal [name] from [insert condition], but Your will be done, not ours." Safe, conditional, healing prayer. Occasionally, when someone was really ill we might have a group of people lay hands on a person and pray. But this was prayer reserved for desperate times. It was not the norm. It was the exception and any answer to such prayer would have stunned us all. Certainly, we would have given God the credit and praised Him for it. But, that was a vague hope. The desperate pangs of a desperate people.

I had often felt convicted by this and had even shared my concerns with some colleagues over the years. I challenged them to consider whether our actions demonstrated that we really believed that God could and does heal. This was usually met with much skepticism. However, I never really went much further with this. I still struggled with believing, really believing, that God would heal, or even more to the point, that he would choose to heal someone through our prayer. This was my basic mode of ministry for over eighteen years.

Then in the summer of 2007, I was introduced to a group of people in Sheffield, England- St. Tom's Church. They seemed to really believe, yet even more than believe, they totally expected God to show up in their midst and do miraculous things. Their reason for believing it was so simple and so child-like that it couldn't help but make you smile. "That's what God promised to do. Just read the Bible," they would say. Still, what was I to make of this? Initially, I was forced to make a choice much like the famous "choice" of CS Lewis in Mere Christianity. Either they were lying, in which case, they were deceivers and really very bad people, or they were delusional. There was some form of group hallucination taking place. They all really believed God was doing miracles, but they were wrong. If this were true, there was at the root of this church an unhealthy and dysfunctional culture. Neither of these made sense in light of the relationships I formed and the people I grew to know and love. Moreover, while I was there, I experienced a number of things that convicted me to open myself up to the possibility that God wanted to be far more involved in my life than I had allowed Him to be. So, upon returning from Sheffield, I made a simple promise with God. I was committed to being more open to his working in my life. That, my friends, was the beginning of the end of all my previous perceptions of leading the Church.

God took control and to bring us back to our former conversation we flash forward to the winter of 2008. It was at that time that God compelled me to write a message on the issue of healing. The text was, of all things, the second petition of the Lord's Prayer- "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done." [ah, remember the tag-line to those safe, healing prayers I prayed] I really had no clue how to approach this message, so I dived into the Bible and read everything on healing. I came away completely convicted and convinced of not only God's power to heal, but also God's desire to heal. I shared that message being completely transparent to how challenging this was for me. I really had no idea what the response from people would be.

Let me pause here to bring us back to the issue of leadership. Previously, every message was given with a predetermined outcome in mind. Everything was done this way. It all pointed to and was prepared to move us toward a defined and preferred future as a church. I don't mean to make this sound too clinical. God was certainly invited into the process, but truthfully we orchestrated it. We were leading. I was leading. I would ask God for his guidance, but I was treating God a little like my own personal GPS unit. "God-God how do I get to …" I relied on God for direction, but I was still behind the wheel.

Suddenly, God was driving. There was no predetermined outcome in mind with giving this message. No preferred future as a church, other than growing closer to God. There was no reason for giving this message other than God having decided it. I was now beginning to lead by following. That sounds so formulaic and staid, but in reality it was terrifying. I was out of control. I had no idea how the people of 10:35 would respond to a message that we should expect to see signs and wonders and foremost among them was healing. What I certainly did not expect was for them to embrace it wholeheartedly. People began asking for healing prayer and other people started praying for them. I mean really praying for them- pulling them aside on Sunday, before worship, after worship, laying hands on them. And they believed. They had every confidence that God would heal.

And God did. He continues to do so. Time and time again, we are seeing it. Cancer, inner-ear problems, damaged hearts, arthritis, blood disorders. God has and continues to do miracles in our midst. Now this is what I mean in a previous post by "leading from the middle." God compelled me to share a message. The people responded and followed the Word of God. Now we are a church heading in a direction I would have never expected. People want healing. People pray for healing. God delivers. I'm not deciding the direction of the church. I am a witness to it. I bear witness to what God is doing in our midst and what God wants to do. The rest is God and His Church. It's really a pretty amazing thing to be a part of. What do you think?