Believe first, doubt later

Choose to believe, rather than to doubt. This is a simple, but difficult way to live. Understand, I clearly believe in God. I have faith in Jesus Christ. Where this principle gets tested is in the nuances of the life of discipleship. Do I believe that God speaks to me? Do I believe that God heals? Do I believe that God actually loves and cares for me so much that he "knows the numbers of the hairs" on my head? Do I believe Jesus when he says, "anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these"?

If I'm honest with myself, my first inclination with any of these is to doubt. Understand, doubt can be a healthy thing. God created us with intelligence. It is healthy and often wise to question before blindly accepting. It is not God's intent that we mind numbingly attribute every action, every consequence of an action, every happenstance to God. I get it. We shouldn't have to dumb ourselves down in order to believe. However, if our initial stance is always to doubt, we run a great risk. We may eliminate any possibility that God is working in our lives. We write off an answer to prayer as a product of coincidence. We dismiss the words of someone claiming to receive a prophecy as the conscious imaginings of subconscious impulses. Worst of all we move through life expecting that God is really quite inactive and uninterested in our lives from day to day.

Here's the thing. That mode of living is completely incongruous with what we learn of God in the Bible. The apostles lived with the absolute expectancy that God was, is, and always will be working right in the midst of the lives of His people. Yes, sometimes that did mean that God was working through unseen channels in subtle pushes and pulls. But, often God was a lot less obscure than that. Often, God was downright brazen in His insertions into the lives of His followers. People were healed. Prophecies were given. The dead were raised. We're told in the Book of Acts from the Bible again and again how many, many miraculous signs and wonders were done through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yet, so often we seem to believe that God can't or won't do these things now. However, entertaining such thoughts carries with them some devastating results in our ability to have faith in God. If we believe God can't, we undermine his authority. God is the creator of all, the king of the universe. To suggest that there is something that "lords" itself over God, that he has no power to overcome, is to make him something less than God. If we say that God won't, we undermine God's character. God calls us to see Him as our Father in heaven who wants all good things for his children. To suggest that God will not act in our lives is to characterize God as uncaring, distant, even callous. He becomes more a resentful judge than a loving Dad. Either path, believing God can't or God won't, leads to some difficult conclusions.

So, what choice are we left with? Believe. Have faith. Dare to err on the side of anticipating, expecting God to be brazenly involved in your life, rather than cautiously erring on the side of seeing God in little or, as it often happens, in nothing. Believe first and doubt later. Yes, sometime you will be wrong. That dream you thought was from God really was just the pizza you had the night before. But, sometime you will be right and that makes the risk worth it. Why? Because in the end this is not just some theorem, this is not merely a science experiment or a philosophy to be tested. This is God and the very nature of having faith in God means that we believe he is bigger, more important, and more real than our doubt.

Time of Abiding

Patience, patience. Ah, it is something I so lack in my life. Yet, I know it is necessary for our spiritual growth. We, particularly Americans, want to do, do, do. Moreover, we want results. Now. But Jesus Christ teaches us that "being" is as important as "doing." So how do we learn to "be" disciples? We spend time abiding or remaining in him.

That's what Jesus tells his disciples in the Gospel according to John, the 15th chapter (I've pasted the relevant verses from John 15 at the end of this blog). Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." To understand what Jesus means we need to understand a little about vinedressing or, in other words, the maintenance and care of the plants within a vineyard. Pruning or cutting back the branches is an essential piece in producing tastier and more abundant fruit. Without pruning, the branch will weaken. Eventually, it will wither under the strain of its production and die.

However, when a branch is pruned back something significant happens. The vine protectively grows over the pruned branch encapsulating it within itself. Thus, the branch remains or abides in the vine. There it gains in strength and when it emerges it is stronger and able to bear more and better fruit.

The danger of "doing" all the time is to believe that we are capable of producing anything of value apart from Christ, our Vine. If you don't spend time with Him, we will never produce the fruit that God wants us to produce in our lives. We need to understand, as the apostle Paul often said, that our lives are in Christ. If they're not, then we are detached from the source of life and we will never realize the strength that is found in Him.

Still, how do we remain or abide in Him. Jesus also gives us the answer to this when he says "abide in my love." We need to let the love of Jesus Christ cover us. We need to receive and soak in the grace of God. Spend time with Jesus in prayer. Read his words. Listen to what he has to say to you. Sometimes, just rest in Him. Do nothing but invite him to join you and let His presence, His love refresh you. Jesus wants us to experience life in the Vine, life in Christ. Why? Well, listen to what he says: "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

Do you want to have a fruitful life, a life that is productive? Do you want the "doing" of your life to have meaning? Then first learn how to "be".

That is the lesson we are learning right now at "10:35. " The last year has really focused on what God is doing inside of us. We've focused on "being" disciples, rather than doing. We have definitely seen some pruning during this time. But, patience. The branch is growing strong and the fruit will come.

John 15

The Vine and the Branches

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

Time to "go"

I'm waiting for the van to take me to the airport. I look back and so much has happened. I've learned so much. I've received so much affirmation for who I am and what God is calling me to. Now, the end has come to this week and it is time to go. I'm saddened in many ways, but I am excited to go.

I am, of course, excited to go and see my family. I have missed them immensely this year. But I am also excited to "go" in ministry. God has given me the apostolic gift and the missional heart. I am ready to go! Look out Toledo here I come. I'm ready to venture out in the deep water. I'm gonna swim!

Only God could know...

Imagine someone telling you something that spoke so powerfully to the deepest longings of your heart that you could not help but weep at the sheer sound of those words. That's what happened to me last night. I couldn't even bring myself to write about it at that time. It was too personal and emotionally charged. But now I can share it with you.

I know even as I share them that you that the reader cannot possibly understand the depth to which I was moved by what happened. The words may sound meaningful, inspiring perhaps. But, for me, it was as if God reached into my heart to pluck from it the words that make it beat. Here's what happened.

On Thursday afternoon, a time for prayer was offered for anyone who wished to come forward. I did so. As I waited for someone to come up to me to pray over me, I prayed for those around me. I worshipped God and praised Him for the work He was doing in the lives of so many people this week. After some time, I was prayed over and annointed with oil at which time I returned to my seat. I continued to worship God with unhindered joy when suddenly Mic Woodhead, lead pastor of St. Tom's- Crookes, walked across the room straight towards me. He laid hands on me and said, "Tom, God has just given me a word for you." What follows are the words. Words that are perhaps no more than mere words to most. But, to me, were like the songs of God's angels to the ears of man.

"God has given to me an image of you standing in the shallows, water up to your ankles. You are splashing around in the shallows and God says, 'I love you and I love the work that you've done for me, but it is time to come deeper.' God is now leading you out of the shallows. The water is rising and soon your feet can know longer touch the bottom. You find yourself swimming. Your swimming, Tom! And the joy of the Lord is filling you as you swim in the breadth and depth of what he as planned for you. God has so much more planned for you, Tom. It's time to trust and to walk out into the deep waters and swim. And, Tom, I see another picture, a picture of you standing at the gates of heaven. And people, many people, are queued up to greet you, to shake your hand, to embrace you. And one by one they tell you, 'Thank you, it is because of you that I am here.' Many, many lives are being touched and changed because of you- a person you've talked to. A person you've helped bring into the Kingdom who then touched another life. And God is happy, Tom! He loves you. He rejoices in what you have done and will do for Him. It is not the big church or ministry that you will ever lead, but the lives that you have touched and made a difference in. And God is pleased."

About midway through, I began to weep. What followed was 30 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing- shoulder heaving, face hiding tears of joy.

I sought Mic out after the service. He asked me if I was okay. I told him very, but he needed to know how much those words meant to me. "You see," I said, "there is no way you could have known this, but I can't swim. I have always wanted to, but I can't. I can't think of an image that would have spoke more powerfully to me about what God wants to do in my life." And Mic began to laugh... out loud, head tilted back... like I have never heard him laugh before. "That is so the humor of God! That was a word from Him, Tom. A word from God for You!"

"Every time I think about it," I said, "Everytime I think about everything you said... there is nothing more, nothing greater I could have wanted to hear. No words could have had more meaning. I can't stop crying everytime I think about them. I just wanted to hug you when you said them."

Then Mic, still laughing, through his arms around me and said, "Then cry, Tom! Keep crying. Don't stop. Those words are going to come true. They're going to happen!" And I did. I kept crying, laughing, and crying some more. I suppose I will keep crying every time I think about them. No one could know what those words would me to me except me... and God!

Battery Power

I’m going to keep it short tonight. Today was an awesome day for me spiritually. This week has been everything I have hoped for and more. It is not that I am learning some radically different things than last year. Though we did hear some challenging teaching today from Paul Maconochie on Spiritual Warfare. It is, rather, the growth that God is producing in me. It is the time spent in worship and prayer. It is the encouragement and grace that accompanies this ministry and the people involved in it. It is more than just feeling recharged. It is though the Holy Spirit battery within me has been changed from a AAA to a D. My capacity for the Holy Spirit has increased and thus so has the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. Praise be to God!

Pioneering Mission

This was the day I was hoping for since the flight over. Having balked at God’s leading to pray for the woman on the flight over, I was praying for an opportunity to be pressed well outside my comfort zone. This day we signed up for different experiences of “out” ministry. I intentionally sought one that would cause me to surrender and trust in our awesome God.

What I signed up for was an experience called “pioneering mission” with Toby Bassford. Toby is an incredibly gifted young adult leader with a huge heart for reaching people with the good news of Jesus Christ. This opportunity would involve going down to the town center two-by-two and allowing God to lead us to approach someone to share a word from God, pray for healing or any other needs, or share good news of God’s grace and love for people.

However, even before doing that, we spent five minutes in silent prayer asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us a word or picture concerning the people He would have us meet. Toby said to pay attention to anything that comes to mind. This is important, because when doing this we have two choices. We can either discount those things as random thoughts or self-produced ideas, and therefore, we eliminate the possibility that anything has come from God. Or we can decide to believe that God does and is speaking to us, creating an environment that is open to receiving a word from God. So, trust, seek to be obedient, and share whatever comes to mind.

For me, there were two words. The first was Sussex. The second was dame or damsel. We determined there was a Sussex Street near town center where we were headed. No one had any good ideas about the second. So, I set off with a young guy named John who had just finished FORM. He thought he had an idea where Sussex Street was located. Two miles later we were still looking with no idea whom God was leading us to. We prayed together as we walked, asking God for His guidance.

At one point, we passed a man on a bridge. I thought, perhaps, that God wanted us to talk to him. Furthermore, we had asked a number of people about the location of Sussex Street to no avail. Perhaps one more would be the trick. So, I said, “Sir, do you happen to know where Sussex Street is?”

He said, “Perhaps, if you tell me what you are looking for I can help.”

I said, “Well, that’s an interesting thing. We’re both Christians and a little bit ago I was praying and I believe God wants me to go to Sussex Street and pray for someone.”

He got a rather quizzical look on hi s face and said, “Well, I think if you cross the bridge, you’ll find Sussex on the other side.” With a bit of humor in your voice he added, “I hope ya find’m.”
Feeling a little bolder (heck, he already thought I was crazy at this point) I asked, “There isn’t by chance something that you would like us to pray about?”

“No, I’m good,” he said a little nervously. “Unless you could get me a windfall of some cash. I could really use some time away from my work.” A little laughter. “But, naw, that’s alright.”

I felt like pressing the prayer at this point would be wrong, but I did say, “We really do pray God’s blessing on your life. Thank you for helping us find our destination.”

As we walked away, John prayed, “ Jesus, supernaturally relieve this man of some of the pressures at work. And may it happen in such a way that he would remember this encounter and be drawn closer to you.”

Sussex Street was across the bridge. But, he was our only encounter. Was this the person God wanted us to find? We may never know. But as Toby shared at the beginning of our little four mile trek, the point of this exercise is not to have some evangelistic success story. The point is to be obedient. Walk in obedience. Live life more consciously in a state of obedience. Go where God says to go. Talk to those whom he leads you to talk to. Pray for others. Believe, trust, obey and leave the rest up to God. This day, John and I did that and we trust God to do the rest. What an awesome experience!

First Prophecy of the Week

Each year, before we come to Sheffield, some of their people with the prophetic gift pray over the names of those coming to Pilgrimage (that’s what the week is called). If someone receives a word for that person they are to write it down. We are then given these prophecies at the start of the week with the understanding that they may mean nothing to us or they may be spot on (a little british speak for you there). Mind you, they don’t have anything other than a name. Well, here is mine. Judge for yourself.

“Picture of you as the Shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to seek and to save the 1. Sense of you having a calling to those ‘on the edge’, those who don’t ‘git’ standard church. God shares the desire of your heart and will equip and enable you.”

An awesome start

Today was the first day of the conference and it has already been quite powerful. Mike Breen began the day with a devotion on Covenant and Kingdom. It was a review of teaching I have heard Mike give before, but still very good.

What followed was my first breakout in track 2 (at least one year of experience with lifeshapes) covering the Triangle. This was led by Steve Cochram of 3D ministries. It was extremely engaging. Of particular interest to me, was how to use the up:in:out of the Triangle as a diagnostic tool for the church. When using the shape in this way you address the areas of vision, teamwork, and task. Some of you will be hearing more about this!

The next teaching time was offered by Mic Woodhead and dealt also with Covenant and Kingdom. However, this material was very fresh, very challenging and very powerful. We examined the 4 truths of Covenant and the 4 truths of Kingdom. It is far too much for me to cover right now, but in short Covenant deals with who you are (your identity) and Kingdom deals with what you do (your purpose).

At lunch, I met with Steve Cochram whom I had begun a conversation with via email before even coming to Sheffield. We had a lively and wonderful conversation about the implications of implimenting these teachings within the church. Lunch was over before we knew it and I had received a bonus time of instruction to boot.

Challenges and Blessings

So, I found out a couple days before coming that my host family was going to be gone for the weekend. They lead a young adult ministry called Form and this weekend was their year-end retreat. I was excited to be staying with them because of their involvement in this ministry, but I was also a little disappointed that they were going to be gone for the weekend. Last year, this first weekend was an incredible opportunity to get to know the family I was with and to take part in the life of the church through and with them.

Well, Mic Woodhead, lead pastor at St. Thomas, Crookes, discovered that I was without a host family this weekend. So, he invited me and Paul (the other pastor from St. Paul's) to spend all day Saturday with him, his family, and Kent Hunter. This was an incredible opportunity to learn from one of the key leaders in Sheffield one on one. It was an awesome day.

As a result of this time, Mic offered to have 10:35 act as a pilot site for a new ministry they are developing. It is a pre-Alpha program that is intended to be used in coffee shops and pubs (B-dubs?) to engage people in conversations about faith. The three main areas of discussion will be career, relationships, and the future. It will be a dvd format with an opening discussion starter that can be played on your laptop. It is still in production, but they hope to have it done around the first of the year.

Today, Sunday, we attended the family service at St. Thomas, Philly and the evening Become service geared towards the significant college population, also at Philly. The family service was really amazing. As it began, children danced and played freely throughout the worship space. More than tolerated, it was encouraged. They waved flags and danced in circles. They leapt for joy and laughed and played. It made me cry. So pure their worship seemed. Unfortunately, after the opening set of music they were released for Children's Ministry. I was truly sad to see them go.

The evening worship was held in a slightly smaller venue. The seating was about 100 chairs- 50 to either side. The rest of the space was filled with pillows and sofas. Though not much sitting occurs during this service anyways. The worship of these young adults was as nearly exhuberant as that of the children. Dancing and singing. Faces filled with the joy of the Lord. The Holy Spirit was, no doubt, dancing about the room from person to person.

Paul M. (sorry, can't spell his last name right now), lead pastor at St. Thomas, Philly, gave the message at both of these services. He gave two excellent messages based on Scripture from the books of Joshua and Acts. The first was on living within the covenant promises of God. The second on accepting and owning the call of God on our lives.

Tomorrow, the actual conference starts. I'm already aware of some powerful opportunities we will be given to stretch ourselves and grow in faith. You will be sure to hear about them. Out for now.
-Tom

Manchester today, Sheffield tomorrow

I'm typing from the gratis hotel web access. The flight was good, yet I believe God was already trying to teach me. Here's what happened.

During the flight I was working on a message I will be giving the first week in August. The series is entitled Summer On The Beach and is about the encounters that the disciples had with Jesus along the shores of the Sea of Galilee that challenged them to follow Jesus ever more closely. This first message in the series will deal with the reality that Jesus did not call his disciples to "believe" in certain theological principles or "act" in accordance with certain behaviors and laws. He simply said, "Follow me!" "Following" is the simplest action of a disciple. It is also the greatest action of a disciple. There is no truer sign of commitment than to follow- wherever Christ may lead.

Having said that, I fell a sleep for a little while on the trip from Detroit to Amsterdam (my first flight before connecting to Manchester). Suddenly, I was awaken with a thought-- "Pray for the woman two seats to my left. Pray for her sinuses." So, I did. When I looked over, I saw that she indeed was having some kind of problem. But, instantly I knew that simply praying wasn't what the Holy Spirit meant. I was supposed to tell her that God told me to pray for her. I was supposed to pray with her.

Let me tell you, I knew this is what Christ wanted me to do. He was saying to me, "This is the depth of followership that I am looking for. Are you ready to do this? Are you ready to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit? If so, I will lead you to places you have not been and cannot get to without following me."

I was not. That's right. No big discipleship success story here. For reasons I can't even explain, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was such a struggle as I'm sure Christ knew it would be. I have so much growing to do yet and so much more I can give to Christ. Afterall, He asks for no less than all of me. He does not have that yet. So, I ask Christ's forgiveness and I ask for your prayers. Pray that I would die to self so I can live for Christ. Pray that I would be able to follow wherever he may lead. Pray, as I do, that this is just the first of many such opportunities on this trip.

Well, it looks as though I will not have access to the web until Sunday night. So, it appears that it will be Sunday or Monday until you hear from me again. However, I should be able to blog each day after that. Based upon what has happened already, I know I will have a lot to share.

My daughter, the Presbyterian

So, my sixteen year old daughter and I go out to dinner together nearly every week. It's a very cool thing. Most of the time we talk about "stuff", nothing significant. Once in a while we'll talk about something deep or important to one of us. Sometimes I think she says things just to see what kind of reaction she can get out of me.

The other day she says, "Dad, I've decided I'm a Presbyterian." Now, I have been a pastor ordained into the Lutheran church for nineteen years. Additionally, as far as I know, Anna has never stepped into a Presbyterian church. Nevertheless, there she sat with that defiant, yet whimsical, smile on her face proclaiming her new allegiance. Mind you, this is the same girl who insisted that "10:35" was a non-denominational church no matter who the pastor (her father) was. She wouldn't believe it, but I really do love this about her. She thinks of me as pretty conservative, but pushing the boundaries of convention is something I've been accused of on more than one occasion. So, I smiled and asked her what led her to this new revelation.

The issue was Calvinistic predestination. She had recently learned about it (really, the things they teach in public school nowadays) and decided it made a lot of sense. What ensued was this wonderfully deep and complicated discussion on the merits of predestination as taught by Calvin, Luther, and others.

That interaction I had with my daughter is a model for me of the kinds of conversations I want to have with all people and how I should seek to respond to those who have viewpoints that differ from mine. Here's what I mean. The foundation of this whole conversation with my daughter was my love for her. I'm emotionally invested in her. So, I want to encourage her to think through the things of God. I want to challenge her, but I also want to listen to her. I want her to know that I value her opinion as I value her. I celebrate her spiritual inquisitiveness, knowing that Christ can use it to draw her closer to Him. She matters to me. I can question her stance, but I don't want to judge her. I can push her to think more deeply, but I don't want to push her away.

I contrast that with the many stories I hear from people who have felt judged and belittled by Christians. Just recently, I met with someone who shared with me some of her recent experiences with Christians. She is a deeply spiritual person who has been disconnected from the church for some time. She has a sincere faith in Jesus, but is highly inquisitive. She has read The Secret, though it seemed a bit indulgent to her, and thinks Eckhart Tolle is right on with some of his stuff, but not all. She also has a deep appreciation and love for nature. She can look at a handfull of soil and see the handiwork of God. So, what did those Christians closest to her have to say about all of this. They called her a wiccan and a pagan. They disrespected her beliefs, but much more importantly, they disrespected her. There was no love in their dealings with her. What she felt was their contempt or, even worse, pity.

Through some caring Christ-followers, God is now calling her closer to Him. But, what a tragedy this experience almost was. What a loss for the Kingdom. Why? Because too often Christians forget what Christ proclaimed as the greatest commandment: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"